Love is a Beach (Part 3)

Click here for Part 1.

Harry

My birthday was a blast. After me and Sam talked, we went out with the barkada. We didn’t saw each other over the summer that much because we had our OJTs on different companies and locations. I was at Alabang, Sam and Janno is at Makati (different companies though), April (Janno’s girlfriend) and Felice are on the same broadcasting company over at Quezon City, while Jed is at Caloocan. We are basically scattered all over Metro Manila. Going back to my birthday, I got home a little over 11 PM when I received call from an anonymous number.

“Happy Birthday Bud!” the woman over at the other line said.

“Thanks, may I know who is this?” I responded.

“C’mon. I know you know me. Bud,” she said with an emphasis to “Bud.”

“I have an idea, but… this is a local number. Jam?”

“O heck yeah!”

“Are you here? In the Philippines? For real?”

“Yes. And I am in front of your house. Be a gentleman, let me in.”

Jam and I goes way back high school. We were classmates then and she went to study college at my school for a year before migrating to the US. She and Sam were classmates for the brief time she was here. They are not exactly friends, but they know each other. They have different sets of friends then. I was so shocked because I didn’t know she was here in the Philippines.

I went outside. She gave me a bear hug… and a tender kiss on the lips.

Sam

I just got home, just 20 minutes before midnight. I was quite all during the birthday celebration of Harry. I really don’t know what I am feeling right now. Is it because I felt guilty? Or is this feeling real? I went inside my room and trying to get some sleep, I can’t get Harry out of mind.

Just 2 minutes before midnight, I called Harry to greet him one last time, I want to be the last person to grret him that day. I just might say I like him too. No one is answering. 1 minute. I am trying to call him again. This is my 5th attempt. No luck. 30 seconds. Maybe this is a sign. I made a mistake. I should have said that I like him too.

Harry

I invited Jam for a drink inside. She said that she is on a summer vacation here in the Philippines and will be back before the school starts there. She also had a lot of stories about her roommate that is a Marijuana addict, how she crashed several frat parties, how she saw Woody Allen walking on the streets of New York. She just went on and on and on. And I am just looking at her, fascinated on her stories, and that kiss.

“I surely said a lot already, how about you? How’s your 20th bithday so far?” she then asked me, around an hour after she talked non-stop.

“It’s interesting. It’s one heck of a day. And, definitely, you are a very pleasant surprise,” I replied. I think I blushed a little bit.

“Well, I’ll give you my gift, let’s go to you room,” she said while holding my hand. I know where this is going, and I aint complaining.

Sam

I don’t know why Harry is not here yet. He is never late, much more absent. If he will be, he would always text me. This isn’t like him. There is something wrong. I’ve been calling him for hours, no answer. Not even a single text message. I am worried sick.

After our lunch break, he showed up. He is happier than normal. Not that it is a bad thing, it is just, different. I sat beside him, and he didn’t even said hi to me. He is just smiling while texting on his phone. One thing that I know for sure is that he is a bad textmate. It’s a miracle if he even replies to your messages. I know something is up. But… Why do I care so much?

While in the middle of our Engineering Economy class, Harry suddenly asked me, “Is it OK for me to bring someone on Saturday?”

I was shocked. I don’t know why. “Sure. It’s your birthday,” I replied after a few seconds. I felt a pinch of jealousy.

“Thanks,” he said, and it is the last thing he said for that day.

Yes, I was jealous. I am so jealous right now. I cannot tell Chard about this, obviously, so I went to Felice. She is the only girl in our group, well, of course, aside from April. We met at Bon Chon for dinner.

“What’s your problem Sam? I never seen you like this before,” Felice said while waiting for our orders.

“Can you keep a secret?” I said.

“Of course.”

“I think I am falling for Harry.”

“What?” Felice shouted, some of the costumers around us looked at us.

“Tone down,” I ordered her.

“OK. I’m sorry. I’m just shocked. It’s just, he likes you too. Do you know that?”

“Yes, he told me, just last week. I basically turned him down.”

“What? And you just said that you like him?”

“Yes, I know. I realized it a little too late. He is bringing someone on Saturday. And I never saw him this happy before,” I said, and I started crying.

Felice didn’t know what to do. People are looking at us. I tried to stop crying, I can’t. I just can’t. It really hurts.

… to be continued.

Biyahe Tayo!

During our last months at Adamson, me and my barkada made a Facebook group called ‘Biyahe Tayo.’ It is inspired by, for me, the best Philippine tourism song, Biyahe Tayo, a few years back. Our ‘mission’ is to go to different parts of the Philippines. It was hard at first, especially our first trip, since we all are either students or fresh grads. Financial aspect is really tough. We planned our first three trip. First, being after our graduation, second will be after our boards and our friends’ graduation and the third will be after the April boards. We had several options, including Laiya, Quezon, Puerto Galera, Ilocos and Palawan.

Our first trip happened last May. We went to Laiya, Batangas, after a long deliberation where to actually go. I just came from our Leadership Training and Seminar the weekend before that (also at Batangas), I lacked sleep and I was so tired, but the trip must go on. I was supposed to blog our itinerary, but it was during the review period for the boards, that is why, I complete forgot about it. Laiya is on San Juan, Batangas. It is a famous getaway because it is just a couple of hours from the metro.

We stayed at White Cove. I don’t actually remember how much we payed, but it includes an airconditioned room for 4 (we are actually 5), free use of pools, trampoline and the volleyball court, and a 3 buffet meals for an overnight stay. I would estimate that we payed for around a thousand bucks each. We have to ride their shuttle to go to the white beach. The beach where we stayed is not THAT good, and they told us that it is very deep.

I won’t go into details, but that first trip is very nice and we can’t wait for the ‘Part 2′. It is a good R&R after the graduation and the next phase which is the boards. I don’t have a job yet that time and I don’t have a plan to work.

After the boards (literally), me and a friend from that trip talked about the ‘Part 2′. We really want a Ilocandia trip. Luckily, there is a long weekend on the last week of November (after the 13th month pay, lol). So, I posted my suggestion on our group, and they are as excited also. Since only a few of us have jobs, it’s kinda hard to ask if they are sure or not, but nevertheless, they want to go there also. At least, I made my part telling them more than a month earlier.

I asked my high school friend who went there already and asked for a contact for a tour. Although making your own itinerary is cheaper, having a tour guide will make everything easier. On their Facebook page, a standard 3D2N will cost us a little over 3 thousand bucks each, including transportation from Makati to Ilocos, entry fees, accommodation and breakfasts. I hope this will really push through, I always wanted to go there.

Here are some of the places in the Philippines that I’ve been too:

- Baguio City
- Cebu (Cebu City, Bantayan Islands)
- General Santos City
- South Cotabato (Koronadal City, Lake Sebu)
- Southern Leyte (Hinunangan, Maasin)
- Tacloban City, Leyte
- Subic

While these are the places that we are planning to go to in the next few months:

- Bicolandia or Bataan (hopefully, next week)
- Corregidor (I actually went here already when I was in high school)
- Bohol (again, hopefully, on me and my father’s birthday)

It’s really nice to discover our country. Aside from having fun, we can also help our fellow Filipinos working for the tourism industry. It’s definitely more fun in the Philippines!

 

(Mind) Games of Thrones

I have to make a decision. To let go or not. It’s very hard. I have been sitting here for 5 minutes already. Outside, is my mom, my dad, my lovely sister, what will happen to them if don’t decide now? What if a stranger go inside our house and shower bullets on my family? What if an earthquake strikes us now, will I be there to rescue them? My dad is weak, my mom is weak, how can my sister save them alone?

7 minutes. I don’t think I have a great childhood. My mom and dad said they love me, I never felt it. It’s like I grew up alone. It’s like I never with somebody. I had friends, but what they only care is about my toys. I am rich with toys, but not with friends. When we went poor, they forgot about me. We have to sell my toys, no one wants to play with me again.

It’s been 10 minutes. 10 minutes was wasted again. I was contemplating about the future, MY future. Will I grow on this company? Will my parents finally be proud of me? Will they forgive for failing on college? Will I found a girl who someday I’ll marry? Is she there? Does she exist? I’ve seen my college classmates happy with their life now, with their own partners, successful in the career path they are taking. Here I am, sitting on my throne, not sure about tomorrow. It seems so foggy. I cannot see through it. I am not even sure there is something out there for me.

Checking my watch, 15 minutes passed by. It’s been the longest 15 minutes of my life. I don’t know what to do anymore. Suddenly, I don’t know myself anymore. It’s a stranger that I’ve been talking to the last 15 minutes. How come someone so sure about himself, suddenly doubts. Doubts. That’s what I was afraid of. I was so sure for the last few years, and now I am feeling this. Doubts.

I cannot take this anymore. 17 minutes has passed. This is not me. This is not how I see myself, the doubting, the self-loathing. I am the bravest person I know, I’ve been through a lot. Now, it’s gone. I doubt I can let go.

18 minutes, 25 seconds. I have to. I made up my mind.
Aaaaaaand…. there’s my poop. Geez, 18 minutes in the toilet?

Awesome Friends are Awesome

I just want to share some tweets I received from my very good friend Dars (@darsthegreat). I’m kinda hurt, but I am not depressed or something because of what happened, but these kinds of tweets or texts of inspiration from friends are really important to me. It helps me acccept the fact that I failed, for now.

@rodj_: just a minor bump on my path to greatness.

@darsthegreat: @rodj_ awesome! Tama yan!

@darsthegreat: @rodj_ you have accomplished so much men. College p lng. Mdame n tau ngwa wc makes us jump out of the page.

@darsthegreat: @rodj_ this is a great story to tell that at some point in ur life u exp this terrible bump w wade u realize ur destined to be great.

@darsthegreat: @rodj_ besides ur just 20. Perfect time to test the waters bro. Dont feel pressured u could always take the exam whenever u want.

I am really lucky to have friends like Dars (also, Weng, Nomar, to name a few).  They can keep you afloat when you just feel you are really really down. They know who you really are. They can be happy for you even if they aren’t. They can be sad for you even if they aren’t. One of the best decisions I made from college is probably choosing these guys as my friends.

Thank you, guys!

Love is a Beach (Part I)

Harry

I like Sam so much. We became close ever since we both flunked Differential Equations when we were 3rd year in college. We became classmates ever since, we basically never left each other’s side, except when she is with her boyfriend, Michael. I knew since 3rd year that I like her that is why I tried to find another girl to like or find some characters or attitude of Sam’s that will make me like her less, or just remind myself over and over gain that we are JUST best friends. No luck. But a window opened just before the start of our OJT. She and her boyfriend broke up. I don’t know if this is the perfect time or the worst time to say what I’ve been hiding all these years. But being a good friend that I am, I am there, just listening to her. When the school year started, she said she is OK. She can move on. Is this the right time to tell her? It is.

Just before the first week ended, we went to the mall to have dinner, my treat. “I HAVE to do this. This is my one and only shot,” I told myself. So just when we finished eating, I told her, “Sam, I want to tell you this for a long time. This is the best time to do this. I like you. Ever since DE, I have a big crush on you. But you had Michael, so I had to step back.” She looked like she saw a ghost. “I just want to tell you how I really really care for you,” I continued. She just said, “I… I’m sorry. I met this guy at my OJT, his name is Chard. We’re kinda together now. I’m so sorry.” And she left. I was so brokenhearted. I cannot stand where I was seated. It was the end of our friendship, I guess.

Sam

I don’t know why I left. Is it because of the guilt that I didn’t tell him about Chard? Or because, I actually like him too? I don’t know why tears are falling on my face now. I tried to text him, but I don’t know what to say. I slept, hoping these tears would stop falling. The weekend went by so fast. I received no text from Harry. Not even a PM or a tweet, which is not like him at all. Even for a slow news day, he would tell me anything, whether a new found hobby or an upcoming movie, or just random thought he had. I missed him. Even though I was with Michael the whole Sunday, I can’t stop thinking about Harry.

I was dreading for Monday. When I woke up, I heard ‘The Morning Rush’ on the radio of my brother. It immediately reminded me of Harry, it’s his favorite radio show. And for some weird coincidence, their top ten topic was ‘Heartbroken tweets or status updates.’ Yeah. Thanks. I really think I am a heart breaker. I really didn’t know why I left. I broke my bestfriend’s heart. I went to school, hoping for me and Harry to talk. We are classmates on all the subjects, except for the thesis. When I went inside the room, I am already late. Our professor is inside already. I seated beside Harry. He smiled at me. “Happy Birthday,” I told him.

Harry

“Thanks. We had to talk. I am sorry for what happened last Friday,” I whispered to her. She just nodded. It is the longest 3 hours ever. It was a boring topic, there is something between me and Sam, and it is my freakin’ birthday. After the class, Everybody went to me and greeted me. Our friends didn’t know what happened with me and Sam. At least one of them, Rona, knew that I like Sam, but I haven’t told her what happened last Friday. I looked for Sam, she is already outside, so I went for her. “Canteen?” I asked her. “OK,” she responded. None of us talked on our way to the canteen. We ordered from our favorite stall, in fact, the cook there is our friend. “Happy birthday hijo! Your lunch guys are on the house,” Ate Marie said. “Thank you ate.”

It was the most awkward 20 minutes of my life. I don’t know to tell her. She was the first to talk, “Happy birthday Harry.”

“Thanks again. Sam, look, I am so sorry,” I said and there was a long pause.

“It’s OK. I didn’t mean to left you there. I was just… shocked. That’s it. I’m sorry too, for that and for not telling you about Chard.”

“No need. Can we just forget about Friday? Let’s go back to what we were. I really miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

I genuinely felt that our friendship really went back to what it was. We are joking and talking like we haven’t done it in years. In fact, we actually planned a weekend getaway at Laiya with Chad and few of our friends. It’s like a birthday celebration and ‘welcome to the new sem’ party in one. I really felt OK.

Sam

I missed our talks. I missed Harry, so much. I am looking forward to the weekend. It’s just I realized one thing, I really like him too.

 

… To be continued.

Oh, Gravity, Thou Art a Heartless Bitch

This is a famous line by Jim Parson’s character in The Big Bang Theory, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Gravity is indeed a big fat bitch.  Scientifically saying, gravity is very essential to our lives. Just imagine a world, where there is no gravity. It would be chaotic. I know. It is very cool to go to a zero gravity station and experience what it feels like outside the Earth. But, if it is applied throughout the world, it would be a total and utter mess.

But even though gravity is great and all, it sometimes can be a pain in the butt. Whether, you fell down the stairs because you are too drunk or your cellphone just decided to slip from your hands and falls on a river, never to see it again, or walk down the runway, with the entire world is looking at you, and you tripped your foot and fall hard on your face, weeks after, you are a star of a viral video. What a bitch, right?

Aside from the examples above, for me, the best reason why gravity is a bitch is when you fall in love and there is no one there to catch you.  Maybe, it’s because you fell in love with a wrong person, or that person is just too numb to know that you have fallen for her, or you just have been friendzoned.

If you are a human with a heart, you must have been broken hearted at least once in your life. But it is a different story when you actually fell… hard. Mine was a simple story. We are friends. We’re close. She thought I like her. We’re not friends anymore. She got a boyfriend. Now, I like her. We became friends again. I (kinda) confessed my feelings. She turned me down. They broke up. She got another boyfriend. They broke up. We became close again. I think I love her. She got a new boyfriend. I was a mess.

Simple, right? That basically went on for 3 years. I really fell hard for her. But, in the end of the day, we are just friends, nothing more, nothing less.  Sometimes I wondered if I never fell in love with her, I could have gotten myself a girlfriend when I was in college. I could have been so happy with somebody now.

Falling in love is such a happy state to be in. But as the rule of gravity says, what goes up must come down. I fell flat. Face down. Nothing to do, nothing to feel. I was numb. She wasn’t there to catch me. I was in love with this girl for years. It is hard for me to move on and get back to my feet again. Gravity, you are a heartless bitch.

FY13 Personal Development Plan

There’s a thing called Career Development Plan here that we need to accomplish at least once per fiscal year. I really have a hard time accomplishing it because I am still quite unaware about trainings, oppurtunities or certificates that I can take and then input on our CDP. But here are my ‘other’ development plans for FY13. This is not really for ‘Career’, so I cannot really put it on my CDP. It’s more of a Personal Development Plan.

1. #OplanPapayat. I’ve been a fatty all my life. It’s time to start living healthy and be fit for the first time in my life. I’ve started this week by eating less. It’s really a struggle. I love to eat.

Target Start Date: 10/08/2012

Target End Date: Summer (at least I lose a few pounds, you know, for the beach);
Indefinitely (until I really have a rockin bod)

Support Needed: I’m planning to go to gym this November or December or January, February at tops. I think I need a gym buddy. I really have no idea how it works.

Status: On-Going

2. I need to go to at least 2 places outside the Greater Manila Area. We have a plan to Corregidor this year, that’s 1 already. I really need to take a vacation next year. Aside from the Laiya trip last May, I never had a real vacation since I graduated. I’ll consider it a gift to myself.

Target Start Date: November

Target End Date: Summer

Support Needed: Finance and people who wants to go to a vacation with me.

Status: Not Started

3. Have an epic birthday. I will turn 21 on August next year. My family have plans, since I am sharing my birthday with Papa. But I want my 21st birthday to be an epic one, you know, with friends, drinking, and anything that goes with it.

Target Start Date: 08/02/2013

target End Date: 08/04/2013 (woot! long holiday! VL na yan!)

Support Needed: Friends and booze.

Status: Excited

4. Apply for passport. I originally PLANNED to apply for a passport this August. But with turn of events (particularly, me unexpectedly working), I never had a chance to prepare. Also, hopefully, I can go out-of-the-country soon. But I would put it on my FY14 plan.

Target Start Date: January

target End Date: March

Support Needed: Time

Status: Not Started

5. Accomplish some kind of achievement on my first year. This is somewhat career-related. Since a promotion is not possible in my first year, I will try to find a way to have an achievement this year. Most likely, a project-related achievement.

Target Start Date: 10/22/2012

Target End Date: 07/29/2013 (one day before my Accenture anniversary)

Support Needed: This is purely me.

Status: On-Going

These are not that hard to accomplish right? This maked me so excited.